Landslides
A major problem with America is that at any given time between special interest groups and those who refer to themselves as “independents” who vote on inconsequentials or the conditions of their livers (or whatever the deciding factor other than steadfast principle may be at any particular election moment) about half the people want one thing and the other half want the opposite. On very rare occasions three-quarters of us will agree that we don’t want socialized medicine, but in general we don’t do better than 40-40-5-15 on “Do you prefer chocolate, vanilla, or strawberry ice cream, or don’t know?”
We have gotten to the point where Brown’s win over Coakley (supposing the Demmies don’t haul out the cemetary vote and disqualify all absentee ballots from those involved in overseas contengency operations, as happened in Illinois to award “Obama’s seat” to Burroughs; it took three re-counts, but sure enough a big difference one way turned into enough to seat Burroughs, the clear looser originally and twice subsequently.) will be hailed tomorrow as a “landslide,” since it will represent a difference of about five percentage points. Those who do not understand mathematics–most Americans, these days–do not grasp that when the difference is 4% (to simplify the math even further) we’re only talking about two votes. A vote for Brown and against Coakley actually skews the vote 2 percentage points. If Joe switches his vote, the result is then 51-49 instead of 52-48. If Alex changes, as well, we’re looking at 50-50.
I should probably go Google an old saying, “That’s a helluva way to run a railroad,” but Google is in such bad odor these days we may all have to switch to Bing or go back to Ask Jeeves, now simply “ask,” I think. On the same tangent, Snopes has been revealed as a mom and pop operation with rather cavalier approaches to determining the truth or falsity of reports, and–surprise, surprise–a decided politial agenda of its own. You could probably deduce quickly what Snopes supports, but for the record it is not God, legally wedded motherhood, and apple pie. Okay, I did it anyway, and Google says “helluvar way” etc. that it means “mostly organized chaos” and that “Sam Hill” is a euphemistic way of saying “hell,” as in “What in th’ Sam Hill are we doing trying to determine what effect elections will have on Mr. Market?”
In some of those bizarre feminine rituals no man would ever subject himself to (far less pay $68 for), I spent two hours today having my toes turned into a foot fetishist’s dream, my nails manicured, and a session that included hot wax and gleeful Vietnamese giggles on one side and discussions of the Geneva Convention on the other. I think I almost got to her when I muttered about “war crimes.” Chuckle…it reminded me of one of the Burma Shave jingles of my youth:
“Wild men pull
their whiskers out;
that’s what makes them
wild, no doubt.
Burma Shave.”
Another odd aside…is it some sort off Mafia or Yakuza thing–whatever the Viet Nam equivalent is–that all nail artists are Vietnamese? And why are the TV sets always set on CNN and can’t be changed because the only phrases those who work in nail salons have mastered are “You pick co-ror.” “You rike shorter?” “You wash hands now.” and “You pay now?” The upshot while being “beautified” was two hours spent watching coverage of Haiti–a real landslide–and Democrats explaining that Coakley was in trouble because (a) “She ran a lackadaisical campaign,” and (b) “Voters do not understand our message; we need to communicate more clearly.” Obamanistas? We understand completely. Even America’s most liberal state is fed up with “hope,” “change,” “audacity,” “transparency,” and “bipartisanship” as expressed by the phrase, “I won,” threats, and bribery.
Had I been watching Fox doubtless I would have been seeing coverage of Haiti and vaguely middle-of-the-roaders explaining that Coakley was going to lose because even true-blue Massachusetts is fed up with Chicago Style Politics but that Republicans must not take this as approbation of what they are doing (nothing much) but as a Bush-style backlash against Obama, both of which are true. Anyone who goes from mid-seventies approval to below 46% in a year is doing a lot of things wrong, Mr. Obama.
In a short week, we wicked, selfish, empire-building Americans have raised over $210,000,000.00 in relief for the Haitians privately–while an international organization has pledged a hundred million (much of it probably gotten from us in the first place.) The Statists are proposing that we adopt the entire nation like stray cats, while a few more sound heads ask what we’re supposed to do with more teeming millions half of whom have no education at all. The rest average 2.5 years of schooling. According to CNN. Since I do not suppose that Haitians are adept at catching mice–although any group that will eat “cookies” made of butter, salt, sugar, and dirt may well eat small rodents for all I know–precisely what would they be good for other than living on welfare, widening the “need” for mandatory health insurance, voting D, and diluting our identity as Americans even further?
Mind, some of them are teachable. I showed someone whose name tag proclaimed him to be “Ben” (“Binh” I would have believed) my signature design which involves a few whisps of white, silver, and silver glitter and a big semicircular swath of almost diamonds on my big toenails and told him I wanted him to duplicate it. Dubious looks. Shaking of head. No can do. Hopeful “You rike frower, Missy?” Noooo, Missy wants what she has right now and, in the kindest possible way, she will not settle for the simple five-petal flower which is the only design I think is taught in nail schools today. Hey, I subscribe to Nail Pro magazine, why can’t they? (I don’t do my own toe nails because I don’t bend in the middle as well as I used to. That and the utter luxury of a deep massage and having my feet whirl-pooled is why I pay them to pamper me.) I didn’t have to get to narrowed eyes and sounding like Madame Chiang Kai Shek on a bad day: “You rook again. You do my way,” because smiles and several repetitions of ”I want what I have now” won the day. The kid (at my age almost everyone is a kid) not only learned a new skill, but he got a nice tip. Ben do what Missy Rady rike, Ben get reward. You judge: if someone has lived and worked in this country for fifteen years, don’t you think some fluency in our language should have been gained? I became quite fluent in German my first year in Deutschland and improved for the rest of a decade.
Where would we put a pack of Haitians, other than Louisiana? The official language is French–remember the ties with Napoleon–but it is spoken only by the upper classes, in general the top three to five per cent. The rest speak their own brand of Creole, and who is to say if their Gumbo is the equivalent of file gumbo? Look, people, I’m not a racist, I’m a realist. You simply cannot bring in even 300,000 homeless and 380,000 new orphans (according to CNN statistics) and plop them down just anywhere in the United States without any ability to communicate and no job skills. I’m certain that is not your idea of compassion any more than it is mine. Although it beats me why we should have to teach an island nation how to fish and grow garlic, ginger, limes, onions, peppers, and sweet potatoes. We certainly don’t need to introduce them to the welfare plantation.
How many of you remember the coverage of the food riots last year which resulted in barricades in the streets of Haiti, robbing tourists, and setting cars on fire? Such may be the stuff of which nations are made, but not any nation I want to live in or give credence to. I think Haitians would fit right in with Nelson and Winnie Mandela, myself. Funny that nobody ever comes up with an exit strategy when it comes to extricating ourselves from entanglements with the “victims” of “disasters.” Christianity is a no-no in America today, but I will point out again that the Good Samaritan did nothing more than the easy, obvious kindness: pick the mugging victim up out of the ditch, patch up his wounds with the first aid kit on your camel, dump him at the nearest Motel 6, promise the manager you’ll be back in a couple of days to cover the delivery Chinese and pizza he ate, and go on about your business. Case closed.
No good will come of encouraging a bunch without character, drive, knowledge, or dreams to treat us as sugar daddies; we’ve been doing that since the days of Woodrow Wilson. I read some interesting statistics, recently, comparing what the survivors of soldiers killed in Iraq and Iran get, as opposed to what the families of those killed on 9-11 got. The soldiers’ families receive burial expenses and less than ten thousand dollars, half of which is taxable. The minimum for being in the Twin Towers on the wrong day was right at fifty thousand, up to a million and a half. No, of course I do not support jihadists, and the sum total of my Arabic is “Allah Akhbar!” “Bada Bukhrah Inshallah!” and “zipper,” an American word which I am given to understand is close enough to a very dirty word in Arabic. (Men never tell your cosseted correspondent things like that.) I’m not for death threats, “eventually, maybe, if Allah wills it,” or vile language. As much as I loathe barbarians who make war on civilians, the fact remains that people caught in the wrong place at the wrong time should not get six to a couple of hundred times what the family of a volunteer member of the armed services does when death occurs. Those caught in earthquakes and mudslides or even “man-made disasters” have no right to the tax dollars taken from American citizens or to succor given at emotiomal cost to our armed forces. Oscar Wilde said it beautifully: “If that’s the way the Queen treats her prisoners she doesn’t deserve to have any.”
We Americans are certainly an odd-ball bunch: we still believe that one side is right and the other is wrong…but most of us have lost the erudition and thinking skills to distinguish one from the other.
My heart is heavy, Shooters, but I’ll make you an offer which will prove either that I am hopelessly old-fashioned or that there are, indeed, guidelines which lead to successful lives. My world is very much black and white. Do your very best to stump me wih examples of “grey” areas in your comments. I hold passionately that pretty much there is right or wrong, with a very tiny number of cases we have to file under “Wrong in most cases, but extenuating circumstances in this one…” “Argue your case before me, that you may be proved right.”
What is the probable outcome of today’s special election? The Statists will continue their full court press, Mr. Brown will learn how to swap favors and behave himself if he wants to be reelected and get good committee assignments and a pension already worth $15,000/month if he serves no more than a year, and the Pollyanna types will suppose great good will come from it. Metal was up across the board, today, not much but the usual .6 to 1% of value…but let’s see how Mr. Market feels about Brown’s win tomorrow. It may be enlightening.
It did my heart good to have Dan Denning tell you the same thing I did about GRA. I’m only Cassandra, but he is Dan Denning! My advice remains the same: remember that throughout history wealth has been measured in gold, silver, goats, and camels. At present, camels probably aren’t a practical choice, but the other three will see you through the worst the Statistss can throw at us.
Regards,
Linda Brady Traynham
January 25, 2010
Linda Brady Traynham
Linda Brady Traynham is a former editor and analytical project report writer and is now a Whiskey & Gunpowder field correspondent on a ranch in the Republic of Texas. She studied Counseling at Boston University and got her Masters degree in Philosophy from the University of Hawaii.
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linda-
the junior senator from illinois is roland burris, not burroughs. he was not elected, he was appointed by the now impeached governor. there were no votes, cemetary or otherwise, no recounts, no absentee ballots from overseas or anywhere else and the only controversy was whether the senate should seat an appointee of a corrupt governor.
where do you get this stuff? please, do not compromise your credibility with simple errors of fact.
jm
Hi Linda:
If I understand the numbers correctly, we’ve already “given” Haiti over $3 BILLION in aide. Sure has done a lot of good, hasn’t it? If you ask Poppa Doc or Baby Doc, they’d probably agree it was good. The rest probably don’t think we did anything to help them. In Houston and Austin, we’re still reeling from the Katrina folks who now refuse to go home. Funny how a hand-out instead of a helping-hand changes behavior.
Jay Moses’ comment is correct. Your observations, however, would certainly apply to MN and the atrocities that seated Al Franken.
You recently penned an excellent article opining that compromise, reaching across the aisle, reconciliation, are all detestable. One either stands for principle or not. The Demopublicans and Republicrats have long forgotten that there is such a word in our language. The MA election solves nothing.
Cheers, Tex
Jay Moses- Per the recounts until they win and other shenanigans, I’m sure le grand dame of this saloon was waxing eloquent. I plead ignorance on the specifics of the Burris appointment. Of course, that’s how Minnesota got Franken in the senate- simply count the votes until you win and discard recounts which go against you. A truly amusing farce. I know I’m amused.
Per the military payout for those killed- when my brother in law came back from Baghdad in a box which I helped carry, my sister and her kids got around a million- though part of that was insurance which is optional. Though I never doubt it when someone says big brother screwed them- it’s always true, and usually nice and legal.
Having said that, I simply don’t see why any survivor of a victim of the WTC attack got a dime from the taxpayer- we didn’t cause their tragedy and I’m sure most everyone there had private insurance. Why is a bigwig in New York worth more than Jose Sixpack getting crushed under a load of potatoes in a midwestern warehouse or obliterated in a grain elevator explosion? All are tragedies. To none does the American taxpayer owe anything.
Finally, on Haiti. As usual, the problems of Haiti can generally be traced to government. Most third world hellholes can make that same claim- lots of taxes, no property rights, well armed cops and militaries and no civil society or protection of liberty and property. In fact, if you look closely, I’ll bet you can see a glimmer of the future of the USA in that ravaged, looted, ignorant, superstitious land. God help them.
Sorry Jay…you’re right, and I apologize. The question now is…I’m still sure my basic facts are right, but who was I thinking about? Somebody help me out here. Charles can’t remember either, but says it was Minnesota where they recounted and recounted and recounted.
Thanks, Tex, for coming to my rescue, and for the kind words. I try never to make excuses, but this time I’ll plead extenuating circumstances! Our (tiled) family room is a temporary goat girl nursery, and darling Charles and I are going through the short version of parenthood! This involves feeding ten-day-old Evita (frequently known as “Evil”) four times a day, and a constant stream of “____ is not a chew toy!” She is forever nibbling on computer cords, shoelaces, firewood, magazines, and everything else in sight. Ariadne and Abby are younger Nubian twins who need feeding every three hours for a few days–seldom, of course, when Evita is hungry. A couple of weeks from now we’ll be down to three bottles a day, and eventually two a day, but y’all know what it is like for new parents! Puddles and not much sleep. The economic reason is that we are turning $35 goats into $250 does who will always come eagerly when they see people and climb up on the milking stand like sweet goats and dispense $16/gallon milk. The sociological ramifications are quite interesting, the moral being that everything needs the best mother it can get. Goats reared by their dams–even those who love people–grow up so wild that they are good for nothing but brood goats. It requires a couple of NFL-quality tackles to capture one and wrestle it up on the stand to be milked. The extension to humans is all to clear, and I guess I had better write an article on it around “Evita! Get out of my purse!” and “Evita! Don’t chew on my slippers,” and “Hank, baby goats are for licking and loving, even when they try to climb on you.” The kids are adorable, and every day they learn a new skill. Evita was so proud when she mastered “jump into the air and do a 180 degree end swap before coming down.” This is a major life skill for an Alpine goat, you see. Ariadne is still working on “jump up in the air and wiggle.” Abby! Hank is a boy dog and he hasn’t got any milk, so come here to Mama.
Here’s an idea for you, Tex: how about an article on the proposal that Bill Clinton be made Governor of Haiti! Talk about “empire building” starting at the wrong end and sure to outrage the entire world. Still, maybe Hillary will take over their educational system. She managed to make Arkansas dead last among the 50 states, which would still be a major upgrade given the current state of “education” in Haiti.
Cheers, Linda
Ernie, dear, what a splendid comment, start to finish! I see a lot more than a glimmer of the future of the USA in Haiti unless drastic changes are made in our political, social, economic, and financial doings. The problem is…I don’t think it could be done even with an ultra-right-wing dictator, and that isn’t the sort I think we’re in danger of getting. How do you dismantle an “entitlement” system? How do we rein in the new “nobility” where Senate seats are handed down as a right? Is Evan Bayh REALLY the best choice? No, but he is an excellent example of the Legacy system. One of these days I’m going to explode about the constant refrain of how the “best and brightest” are Democrats who went to Harvard. Explosive snort. There are two ways to get into Harvard: a very few do it on the basis of test scores (if they satisfy other “qualifications” we all know about), but the easy way is to have the right relatives. The constant assault on the “middle” class is deliberate and necessary. Monarchies and dictatorships concentrate power and the ability to abuse in the hands of the few. They can’t afford “citizens” with sufficient money and leisure to start revolutions…chuckle…had to stop and feed Abby and Ariadne. Evita is chewing on my purse again and Abby just puddled on the floor. Hank is licking Ariadne, and Evita managed to unplug a computer. Maybe the solution with Al Quaeda is to pass out goats instead of federal reserve notes and give those people something better to occupy their time? Or we can go to a “goat standard” goats being one of the classic forms of wealth since man first domesticated animals…Hug, Linda
Your math is incorrect, also, except for the special case when there are exactly 100 voters.
Love you, Steverino, but I’ve been an elected public official. Won by a REAL landslide. Yes, I used a hundred votes to simplify the math, but the principle is the same. Every vote changed actually represents a change of TWO votes. What goes into the plus column comes out of the minus column. Hugs, L
Hi Linda, I like your perspective on our, (politically correct), outreach towards the Haitians. My wife was watching the rock stars and celebrities on every TV channel the other night trying to feel good about themselves, pledging millions of dollars to address systemic problems that money can’t fix. Our military is there and countless volunteers, medical and otherwise. Once the dead are buried and wounds are healing, there is damn near NOTHING we can do to solve Haiti’s problems by throwing money at them. This faux compassion towards black people has become so condescending it is sickening to watch. Our society better GROW UP and start thinking for themselves, stop swallowing the pure crap the mass media is shoveling our way. Your articles are a great new discovery, thanks, Nick.
I know. I think I may have been channeling Mr. Sheridan.
The Vietnamese might have as much trouble learning English as we have learning their language.
I wonder if JC might have been somewhat anti-Semitic, in that the Good Samaritan was the first non-Jew to come across the guy who got rolled. He’d probably get crucified for telling a story like that, today!
Hey–some of us have a brief history of liking mud cookies and pies. I don’t think it’s hereditary, though, unless it’s recessive. My daughter definitely preferred sand, and I still remember those two amazing diaper changes, after 30 years.
I’ve read both your ,er, rants about Haiti and I think I may understand some, possibly even most, of what you say. Anarchy is no stranger, there. I came across a provocative essay last week by John Maxwell: “No Mister, You Can’t Share My Pain (Haiti’s Bill of Particulars)” [Jan. 19, 2010] on the website CounterPunch.org, which I would recommend to you and W&G readers, even though lightning may strike me for doing so. It’s a brief lefty “history”. {OMG–I hope I’m not channeling Mrs. Cover!!!} Some of the windmills you tilted against over “Why US All the Time?”, may have been privy to this type of info.
I have various friends who have goats and they, like you and your neighbor lady-friend, keep me supplied with endless and hilarious reasons NOT to have the critters. I am all hat, no cattle. Some of your other readers may be in the same category: deprived, but hopefully not depraved. So I’m probably not be alone in caring more about Haitians than goats.
Many thanks for your “wonder”-ful writings. You have blessed my shifty and aimless existence in a forest of endless shades of grey ( I wrote ‘gray’ but checked and got it right!) with new focus and purpose: How to get Nail Pro to do a feature on Al Frankel’s metacarpal radiance as he emerges from the Senate “Barber Shop”!
Oops. Al Franken.
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Great post, Steverino, and whether one writes “gray” or “grey” is a matter of whether one speaks English or English! Americans write “gray” (at least, I think) and the British use “grey”–unless it is the other way around. We’ve just fed all the little goats again, all of them squealing that a little girl could starve to death around this dump. I was told they had to be fed every six hours but THEIR version is every three, and Maaaa and Daaaa are showing our ages.
Love your idea about Al Franken. I’ll never live that one down!
Arithmetic has always fascinated me, as have logic and geometry…even before they became self defense against living with three mathematical geniuses. I was a great trial to them because other than in the sense of an overdrawn bank account I don’t really even believe in negative numbers. Weary chuckle. Figures! In my world numbers are real, not imaginary (other than government budgets) and geometry is an elegantly rational subject and always Euclidian. Sigh of relief. I’ve wanted to say that for years! Ah, the looks of pity it would have garnered me from my wonderful husband and children…interesting question, how many head of cattle one “ought” to have before being entitled to wear western headgear. I have no idea why I have it in my head that a “herd” is at least a hundred. I think I’ll go Bing it and then wend my weary way back to bed before shrill cries of “MAAAAA!” break the early morning quiet. Hugs, L
linda-
Must have been al franken you had in mind. Those minnesota scandinavians, always good for a laugh!
jm
Dear Jay:
Indeed, it was Franken, and what a shock, thinking we could rely on Scandahoovians. I’ll never live the mistake down, obviously, but that’s okay; it wouldn’t do for anyone to start thinking I’m omniscient. Or, I could ask, “What’s the difference between a Burris and a Franken?!” Well, I think Burris is pledged not to seek election. Shall we all laugh hysterically, or note all of the old-time Democrats who feel that 2010 might not be a lucky year? When Beau Biden declines to claim “his” seat (his by right of his father having held it) perhaps the American Royalty has had a minor setback. I’ll ask again: how many really think Evan Bayh was the best choice to replace his father? The Constitution is very firmly against “patents of nobility.”
Dear Nick: What you wrote appeared out of sequence, probably meaning it was stuck in the spam filter: “9.Nick January 25th, 2010 6:51 pm :
Hi Linda, I like your perspective on our, (politically correct), outreach towards the Haitians. My wife was watching the rock stars and celebrities on every TV channel the other night trying to feel good about themselves, pledging millions of dollars to address systemic problems that money can’t fix. Our military is there and countless volunteers, medical and otherwise. Once the dead are buried and wounds are healing, there is damn near NOTHING we can do to solve Haiti’s problems by throwing money at them. This faux compassion towards black people has become so condescending it is sickening to watch. Our society better GROW UP and start thinking for themselves, stop swallowing the pure crap the mass media is shoveling our way. Your articles are a great new discovery, thanks, Nick.” Splendidly said, Nick, and welcome aboard. I hope to hear more from you. Raising money is such a “feel good” solution, isn’t it? Stand up there, burnish your Statist image, and not have it cost you anything much more than your time. Wow. That’s real compassion. You are absolutely right: We can help dig people out of the rubble, set some broken bones, and give away MREs that grow on trees, but even if we waved our no longer magic dollar and built a fine new house for every single resident, experience shows that within a short period they would be slums. What needs building is character and culture, and we no longer do a very good job of that in our own country. Oh, my, what I said! I can imagine the howl from the politically correct crowd! How DARE I suggest that anything is wrong with the Haitian culture. Just because the people live in ignorance, poverty, and hunger who am I to criticize their mores? Well…I’m someone who doesn’t live in ignorance, total poverty, or hunger who is being ravaged through taxes to pay for their failed system. It has never worked, and I do not see how it can be “fixed.” What do you do with a country where the people have virtually no formal education and no one appears to care? How do you instill a drive to succeed, a lust for learning, or any sense of self-responsibility? How do you start with even a small “nation” where 97% of the people are illiterate–okay, 50% have no formal schooling and the average for the rest is 2.5 years. It MAY be that the teachers there teach kids who don’t really speak it to read French quickly. WHY aren’t the children going to school? The answer to all those questions MUST be “We don’t even try. It isn’t our problem, it can’t be done, and a large portion of our own population would fit right in in Port au Prince, other than speaking “Ebonics.” Oh, I’m such a bigot. In the Fifties the white illiteracy rate was 5% and the black illiteracy rate only slightly less! Yes, in those dreadful segregated schools. The white illegitimacy rate was 5% and the black rate was 25%. Now whites have a 25% rate of producing bastards (that being the technical term), while non-whites are running 75%. Wow, the Great Society was a real success, wasn’t it? Where there is no requirement for people to support themselves, a substantial percentage will not do so. What DO Haitians in general do to earn their daily dirt cookies, other than begging from tourists off the cruise ships? Rules are meant to keep us safe, and you cannot flaut “If you do not work you do not eat” forever. Regards, Linda
This is the most twisted ramble I’ve read in a very long time! Is this your usual writing style or you’re just testing the reader with this one?
Writers keep forgetting that the point of writing is to communicate, not to impress the reader with some display of mental or scholarly acrobatics. The latter must not get in the way of communicating a thought, or a series of thoughts. Sometimes the reader does not have the time to go through the piece over again to assemble the thought process for himself; that’s what the writer is supposed to do anyway.
What do you expect in a capitalist society like no other on the planet? USA now has the largest unequal distribution of wealth of any industrial nation. Any idea of what this means? 1% of Americans now have over 40% of the nations wealth and take home over 23% of the nations income each year.. Like the game of Monoply… One winner the rest lose ..get the picture? Corporate America and their band of very powerfull lobbyist make sure they get it all and treat Americans like mushrooms, best kept in the dark and fed on bullshit.You can fool all the people all the time if the advertising is right and the buget is big enough.So get out and purchase a flag, China needs the money.
Do Americans really understand so called socialist health care? It means every one who pays taxes contributes to the National health care fund and the doctor I chose to visit sends the bill to the government for payment. Its that bloody simple and this is what Hillary Clinton tried hard to get Americans to adopt when she returned from her visit here.
What exactly do Americans expect when they live in a capitalist society which is fully controlled by the interests of corporate America through powerfull lobbyist? Like the big game of monoply, one winner the rest lose and now the US has the largest unequal distribution of wealth of any industrial nation where the top 1% have 40% of the wealth and take home 23% of the nations income each year. Flag waving and a few patriotic songs keep most Americans content with the belief the nation is the finished product which cannot be improved upon. So get out and purchase a flag, China needs the money.