Since you have not yet been alienated enough to stop reading “washed-up drivel”, I invite you to peruse my latest article titled “Buy an Economy Car and Save Money on Gas? Not Hardly.” In it, you will be introduced to Analysis 101 in which you will learn that driving and maintaining an old car is demonstrably more economical than the purchase, driving and maintaining of a new econobox that makes your green heart go pitty-pat.

In case you wonder why those of us who actually rub a sufficient number of brain cells together would reach a conclusion that allows us to “rail against the act of plugging in a vehicle”, I invite you to find yourself 200 miles south of Midland, Texas headed for Alpine, Texas in July and in desperate need of an electric outlet to plug in your electric green machine. Trouble is that the nearest town with so much as a general store is 40 miles away and your only companions in the immediate vicinity happen to be jackrabbits, antelope and rattlesnakes. That long walk you’re about to take in 112 degree heat ain’t gonna be that much fun.

You will also find that those of us who prefer big, older cars for perfectly logical, common sense reasons do not use those vehicles as a basis of our self-worth or how much any of us happen to weigh. As for bicycles in the summer in Texas, using them on a regular basis for long trips is essentially a one-way journey to the nearest cemetery. When it comes to the status quo, never mind maintaining it, I don’t give two flips about it. What I do care about is maintaining the individual freedom that created this country in the first place, rather than having it turned into a Nanny State that micromanages every moment of my life.

Hopefully you understand that I have not railed against you but have simply responded to your comments with typical, genteel Texas manners in pointing out the errors of your way and providing information that will assist you in re-evaluating your beliefs.

Regards,
Richard Marmo

Thank you, USC, for telling the kid off, and I love your description of Greenie Mobiles. What do YOU drive?! Chuckle…I collect old Jaguars and belong to a club, and until this discussion that was the only place I had ever been where it was appropriate to ask “What do you drive?!”

Cordially, Linda

I’m sorry you’ve chosen to base your self-worth on what kind of vehicle you drive. Out of curiosity, how much do you weigh? A bicycle may be just the answer for our oil dependency and obesity problems in this country. Lazy entitled boomers will cry, kick, and scream as they have their entire lives to maintain the status quo (look how that worked out) while Gen X and Y figure out how to pick up the pieces and rebuild this country. As a Gen X member, I would appreciate it if you stopped standing in our way. We’re asking nicely but we won’t ask again. ”

Dear Brian:

What a pleasant letter! I scarcely no where to begin. Perhaps with being a “lazy entitled boomer who will cry, kick, and scream to maintain my way of life.” This is going to be a little difficult for you to understand, dear, since it contains concepts not in common use for some decades. I am not lazy, and I am certainly not “entitled.” I EARNED what I have, as quaint as that is. I do without things many consider indispensible in order to have others I want more. The ones kicking, screaming, and crying are the ones snout-deep in the public trough. I’m not even a Boomer, having been born in 1940.

Do YOU ride a bicycle or take public transportation as your only means of getting around? If so, more power to you, and no doubt the sanctimonious feeling of doing what you see as your part to save the world compensates you for a great deal of time you are unable to sell or hours you cannot fill pleasurably. I don’t know how to ride a bike and I’m a little old to be running around with skinned knees. It is fifteen miles to Krogers, and how many groceries could I bring back in a little basket? Do you recommend that I make the trip in the hundred degree heat, or should I wait until nightfall? How do you propose I move 100 pound bags of range cubes and 1500 pound bales of hay?

My beautiful old cars do not pollute (the very idea of allowing a vehicle to smoke or burn oil…dreadful), and they are quite efficient. They all get 25 mpg around town, and I drive far fewer miles than most people. Other than basic supplies and ingredients the nearest city hasn’t got a thing that I want. I don’t go to malls, movies, or fast food joints. My idea of a great week is one when I don’t have to leave the ranch.

No one in my family has driven Detroit Iron since a vast, gaudy red and cream Chrysler New Yorker in 1956. Unless you want to count a couple of Jeeps my darling Charles gave me the only American vehicle I own is a 1989 Chevy Silverado Extended Cab with a magnificently battered bed showing how many useful tasks it has done. It is used only on the ranch so the only air it “pollutes” is ours, and it doesn’t smoke or leak, either. Exhaust gases are the price of hauling feed, cutting brush, moving lumber and fencing materials, and being as self-sufficient as we can.

I do not “define my self worth” by what I drive. I never really thought of analyzing such a thing. (Upon reflection if anything I define it by my kindness, my knowledge, my drive, my principles, my intelligence, the quality of those who love me, and what I add to the world.) I just try to be the best person I can and to enjoy myself thoroughly, but I think I can offer you a couple of very useful philosophical guidelines: “What I think about myself is more important than what other people think about me.” “What I think about others is more important than what they think about me.” Isn’t that deliciously arrogant? I can only suppose you agree, having chosen to speak to me as you did. Here’s better advice I was given 50 years ago: “If you want to grow up to be a sweet little old lady you had better start practicing now by being a sweet little YOUNG lady.” I did, and it worked splendidly.

Gracious, what does an old-fashioned lady say to those who threaten her? This one says, “Cut loose your dogs when you’re ready.” Come try to take anything that is mine…but you need to read the new “hate crimes” legislation first, as well as various criminal statutes.

Do write again, Brian, when you have learned a little kindness and more about the world.

Sincerely yours, Mrs. John Charles Traynham

Although I don’t drive it much anymore, it would look rather funny with my truck camper sitting on top of it (which is my prefered method of long distance travel), I did buy a 1972 Toyota FJ-40 Landcruiser (featured in the “Wild Geese” movie, they’re not Jeeps, but look similar) in 1982 after I moved to Colorado and realized I needed a 4X4 if I was going to get anywhere to go hunting/fishing.

One of the better things about it is that when it needs to be wrenched on, I understand it and do most, if not all the work myself, something I can’t do with my 2004 Superduty Ford truck, which carries the camper quite well. This is one tough vehicle, as Toyota does make very tough trucks. If you don’t believe that I’ll send you pic’s of what happened when a Tundra rear ended me at a stop sign last summer while driving the Ford. At least I was able to drive away, not so with the Toyota (short moral: “lady, hang up and drive!”).

Mrs. Traynham is more than just correct whe she writes that a well maintained vehicle will last just about forever, just check the odometer the next time you get into an older taxi cab, especially a V-8 Ford Crown Vic or Chevy Impalla, the old big one (or Caprice). An odo reading of 300,000-500,000 or better is not uncommon.

Vehicles deteriorate much more than they wear out. I did, about ten years ago find the need to rebuild the engine on my ‘Cruiser. I did all the work (except the machining of course) myself. The interior condition of the motor was amazing to me, in that I was surprised at how good it was, even though it had lost enough compression to be viable without the rebuild. It cost about $2500 for the engine and a bunch of other things I did while it was undergoing surgerey anyway.

I figure, over the years I’ve got about $6000 into the thing (initially paid $1400). That works out to about $18.50 per month, including tires. Check that against your monthly payment for a newer vehicle, or my Superduty payment for that matter.

For this I get an extremely reliable (if somewhat uncomforable) ride that I can acutally fix when neccesary. It gets (I’m not kidding) 18-20 mpg, on good, not ethanol polluted gas. And that is with the original 236 C.I.D straight six engine, three speed tranny and original running gear with 4:11 differntials. It’s not fast, unless you compare it to a Mercedes 404 Unimog. The Unimog however is somewhat better off road, but the last time I sailed her over Vail pass, I was doing about 68mph, which was somewhat faster than my much newer Ford half ton six banger I had years ago.

Sadly you do not understand a love affair with a dinosaur.

D C Trant

I’m sorry you’ve chosen to base your self-worth on what kind of vehicle you drive. Out of curiosity, how much do you weigh? A bicycle may be just the answer for our oil dependency and obesity problems in this country. Lazy entitled boomers will cry, kick, and scream as they have their entire lives to maintain the status quo (look how that worked out) while Gen X and Y figure out how to pick up the pieces and rebuild this country. As a Gen X member, I would appreciate it if you stopped standing in our way. We’re asking nicely but we won’t ask again.

Although I don’t drive it much anymore, it would look rather funny with my truck camper sitting on top of it (which is my prefered method of long distance travel), I did buy a 1972 Toyota FJ-40 Landcruiser (featured in the “Wild Geese” movie, they’re not Jeeps, but look similar) in 1982 after I moved to Colorado and realized I needed a 4X4 if I was going to get anywhere to go hunting/fishing.

One of the better things about it is that when it needs to be wrenched on, I understand it and do most, if not all the work myself, something I can’t do with my 2004 Superduty Ford truck, which carries the camper quite well. This is one tough vehicle, as Toyota does make very tough trucks. If you don’t believe that I’ll send you pic’s of what happened when a Tundra rear ended me at a stop sign last summer while driving the Ford. At least I was able to drive away, not so with the Toyota (short moral: “lady, hang up and drive!”).

Mrs. Traynham is more than just correct whe she writes that a well maintained vehicle will last just about forever, just check the odometer the next time you get into an older taxi cab, especially a V-8 Ford Crown Vic or Chevy Impalla, the old big one (or Caprice). An odo reading of 300,000-500,000 or better is not uncommon. I remember an old taxi driver coming up to me whilke he was waiting for a fare. He told me to take care of the patrol car I was driving (Ford Crown Vic) as someday it would be a taxi cab. I’ told him “man, you don’t want this after my police dept. is done with it”. I was serious, still am. But he had faith and told me to take care of it anyway.

Vehicles deteriorate much more than they wear out. I did, about ten years ago find the need to rebuild the engine on my ‘Cruiser. I did all the work (except the machining of course) myself. The interior condition of the motor was amazing to me, in that I was surprised at how good it was, even though it had lost enough compression to be viable without the rebuild. It cost about $2500 for the engine and a bunch of other things I did while it was undergoing surgerey anyway.

I figure, over the years I’ve got about $6000 into the thing (initially paid $1400). That works out to about $18.50 per month, including tires. Check that against your monthly payment for a newer vehicle, or my Superduty paymment for that matter.

For this I get an extremely reliable (if somewhat uncomforable) ride that I can actually fix when neccesary. It gets (I’m not kidding) 18-20 mpg, on good, not ethanol polluted gas (no clunker deduction for me, unless I lied). And that is with the original 236 C.I.D straight six engine, three speed tranny and original running gear with 4:11 differentials. It’s not fast, unless you compare it to a Mercedes 404 Unimog. The Unimog however is somewhat better off road, but the last time I sailed her over the crest of Vail pass, the ‘Cruiser was doing about 68mph, which was somewhat faster than my much newer Ford half ton six banger I had years ago.

Whew! I feel better now that I’ve gotten my latest installment of sarcasm off my chest. Seriously, you have made a considerable number of very salient points that cannot be categorized as anything more than the Gospel truth. My own dinosaur, the 1993 Buick Roadmaster Estate Wagon that you know well and that I love, ain’t goin’ anywhere. If either the Feds or the State of Texas is crazy enough to try to legislate it out of existence, I guarantee you I’ll find some pasture where it can live out it’s life in peace and quiet. ABSOLUTELY. IF ALL ELSE FAILS WE’LL PLANT PETUNIAS IN HER IN THE NEXT CENTURY. SHE’S A BEAUTIFUL OLD BEAST AND SO SAFE AND COMFORTABLE. JUST IN CASE, THOUGH, TODAY CHARLES BOUGHT ANOTHER HORSE! HORRORS! SHRIEKS OF RAGE! ADDING TO THE METHANE PROBLEM…

Write on, Linda. Write on. YOU, TOO. HUGS, LINDA